It’s happened. Spectrum has formulated the ultimate guide to stealing any heart on campus. Find the type/personality of your dreams, and use our expertise to become immediately irresistible.
1. ISTJ “The Inspector/The One Whose Best Friend is Their Major Advisor”
Nothing turns this person on like helping someone get their shit together. A little disorganization lets this person in to help, but the vibes can go from 100 to 0 real quick if they think you’re a lost cause. So don’t go crazy. Respect them enough to show up for dates on time (that’s an important one) and since they’re a big intellectual, be willing to learn with them and explore what the world has to offer. You might have to be a little more emotionally forward in the relationship, saving them from having to do it.
2. INFJ “The Counselor/The One Who Applied after Hearing ‘Barnard/Columbia Bartending’”
You are a mystery that needs solving and, well, they’ll line up to be Sherlock Holmes. Throw them off your trail, speak with anecdotes that even the most remote Classics class thinks is bullshit, and above all else, be as complex as you can (we’re talking David Foster Wallace complex here). Believe me, they’ll spend all night thinking about you.
3. INTJ “The Mastermind/The One Who Makes You Feel Stupid”
This person has ridiculously high standards that we all know most of the time they can’t even reach. Since they admire intelligence and passion/ambition above all else (they go to Columbia, remember?), show them you can keep up. Also, most of the time, this person is too honest for their own good, so throwing a little honesty back their way can’t hurt. In short: Speak sweet, sweet logic to them.
4. ENFJ “The Giver/The Mom Friend Who Comes with You When You Get CAVA’d”
This person lives and breathes for taking care of other people, so they will be first in line to heal your wounds and fall hard for you. Be careful not to come across as whiny, and unfortunately for the person who just read this thinking they could put on an Oscar-winning performance and consequently get laid—the Giver has most likely played this game before, so they can detect a liar a mile away.
5. ISTP “The Craftsman/The One You Don’t See Again until Graduation”
“Yeah, I got the internship of my dreams while simultaneously being voted the sexiest person on campus, nbd.” It kind of makes you want to vomit, but not to the Craftsman. They think modesty about some serious success is FOINE. It also means you have your own interests and passions, so they won’t need to be babysitting you. (Also, since it’s likely they’re kind of an under-the-radar type, you might actually find them above 120th Street on any given night...maybe at The Craftsman?)
6. ESFJ “The Provider/The One Who’s Excited for Anything ‘College’”
You’re well-liked, put together, and the kind of person your best friend’s family tells them to be more like over Thanksgiving break. Underneath it all, however, you’re so much deeper than that. Give the Provider a chance to “discover the real you” under the perfect exterior. You don’t trust very easily, but letting him/her be your confidant will instantly make them yours.
7. INFP “The Idealist/The One Who Sprinted from Their Conservative Town and Ran Straight to the Social Justice Department”
Don’t make any sudden movements. Approach with extreme caution. Don’t worry, they aren’t armed and dangerous (or are they?—wink wink) but this person might walk away at the very start if you’re not careful. Initiate, but don’t come across as aggressive. Like the Provider, they love to see the person hidden within, but this type tends to fall more for the brooding type, so try to divide 726567 by 64 every time you see them.
8. ESFP “The Performer/The One Who Walks Around NY in Full Makeup Waiting to be ‘Discovered’”
“You’re, like, the coolest person in school.” The Performer. The name explains itself. Be alluring, well-dressed, and act like you have the world at your feet. The truth is they want their lives to be a movie. This goes for almost all the people on this list, but none so much as the Performer. *WARNING* Do NOT steal the limelight, or you’ll never see behind the curtain.
9. ENFP “The Champion/The One Who Drops Out and is on the Forbes Cover a Year Later”
This one’s a little bit tricky, but if you weren’t up for a challenge you probably wouldn’t be reading this page. This person requires a little discretion—you can’t fall at their feet the moment they walk up and order a vodka cranberry, but you also can’t necessarily ignore them until last call. They love the thrill of the chase, and believe it or not, they want to fight for you. You want the Champion? Give them a reason to want you.
10. ESTP “The Doer/The One They Call the Panhellenic God”
This one’s fun. Just show them how damn attractive you are. Relish in how desirable you are and how much every person you come in contact with seems to love you. However, this person’s pretty feisty, so prepare for some intense debates. The second you become boring, you become history.
11. ESTJ “The Supervisor/The One Who Answers Their Own Questions in Class”
This person probably flipped over the board during family game night. It’s ok, that can be super hot. They love a challenge but hate losing, so make sure you properly pamper their ego, then almost forget their name. It’ll drive the Supervisor absolutely crazy for you. Oh, and make sure to take care of your personal hygiene, that’s big for this type.
12. ENTJ “The Commander/The One You Want to Network With”
This person can be a “little” much and probably added you on LinkedIn before they followed you on Instagram, but most of the time they’re worth it. Prove you’re loyal and can easily attend to all of their needs (to your best ability). Be dependable—the person they can come to with open arms at the end of a long day. Still, most of the time they’re a fan of a person with thick skin, so I don’t recommend drunk calling them at 3 a.m. crying about how tough your life is.
13. INTP “The Thinker/The One Who Groans When They Get Invited Out”
Hate to break it to you, but if you see this person at Mel’s, it’s 99.9 percent certain you’re going to have to make the move. Don’t put on a show, but make it (sometimes hella) obvious you’re interested. Show them you both happen to love brainstorming new and exciting ideas amidst your array of tequila shots and mac ‘n cheese bites. Keep in mind that this person might not smother you in love every moment of every day and might REALLY not want it for themselves, so although it’s important to initiate the relationship, be careful not to be too clingy.
14. ISFJ “The Nurturer/The One Who Saw Convocation as the Premiere of the Bachelor/Bachelorette”
Step 1. You want the Nurturer. Step 2. You miraculously became the most loving person they have ever met, overnight. Seriously, almost start to creep them out with how nice you are. Being fairly outgoing helps, since they tend to be a little more shy. They’re used to helping other people, so an act of selflessness on your part just might be the tipping point for them to fall for you. When the time is right (you’ll know), be forward about where you want the relationship to go, and fall together.
15. ENTP “The Visionary/The One Who Took Three Gap Years”
This person is used to being able to talk their way into and out of anything, and the heart of anyone. If your heart is easily acquired, you’ll find yourself single by the end of the week. Challenging their beliefs and calling them on their attempts at manipulation will catch them off guard like no other. You wrote that book. Get them to believe it, and you might be able to make an honest person out of them. (Pro Tip: this person definitely tries to hang out at “under-the-radar” spots. Catch them at Brownie’s during the day and The Hamilton by night.
16. ISFP “The Composer/The One Who Came to NYC to ‘Find Themselves’”
“You’re a fan of underwater parkour? I went to the convention last month!” Passion. Take an interest in what this person loves, and you’ll beat level one. Want to win the game? Once you’ve expressed your interest in their passions and ultimately shown a passion for them, take a beat and let them come to you. They will.